being published is weird.

Being published for the first time, for a writer, is both an accomplishment and a shock. You're excited, embarrased, anxious and even proud when you get used to the fact that something you wrote, something you put your heart and soul into was published. It happened to me, and I don't know how to deal with it.

I've always prided myself on being this excellent writer, high skill...awesome writer extrodinaire, get your hands off me, because I'm on fire. At that point, I had never been published either. In high school, I was told by a lot of people in the English dept, that I had what it took. I even graduated high school a year early in hopes to going to a Top 10 Journalism school (which I did) and being this awesome journalist who people respected and looked up to. But alas, news journalism is a sham, I came to find out. You can even say, I sat heartbroken in my Intro to Mass Comm. class when I found out how a lot of it was just controlled by corportate greed and censorship, and being an awesomely accomplished writer was extremely rare. You're just a worker bee for a bad cause.

It was also in college where I discovered what would later become an enormous passion of mine: Comedy. I became fascinated by our college's improv and sketch comedy group, totally fell for this guy in it, though I'm sure he thought I was really annoying. But truly, he was a genius, had balls and was amazingly talented. One thing led to another, indirectly through a friend that also liked the college shows I went to, and I became immersed (as much as I could be nearly 600 miles away) in NYC Underground Comedy.

Now, when you dream about getting published, it's always big and it's always important. Well, it was neither, but it was great. It was for an animation, it was an abridged version of something I already wrote (for a play based on my New York experiences but that's another post). Now while I was excited, it freaked me out. It's defining me as a writer, which is very important. It's setting me apart from other people in my position. I nearly sat on what I wrote for a week and a half with the fear of what I was about to do.

The response has been positive; people like it. There will be negative responses (not necessarily about that), but there will be in the future, I'll have to deal with it then. But at least my first time wasn't bad, like a said, career defining moment.